When Bad Times Are Actually Quite Good

I spoke to my friend Rhonda back in DC yesterday, and asked her about the mood in America right now. I had already heard from my friend Lisa that the economy was all everyone in the states was talking about. Rhonda agreed that the mood in DC was not the best, and since she's in the event sales division of a high-end restaurant group, she's waiting to see what happens. Many companies may not book a restaurant for this year's Christmas party, and have it in their office cafeteria instead. She worries about her job. But, the interesting thing she said was something like, "This will make Christmas pretty bad for most people."

Having lost mostly every "thing" in my life, I can watch the economic downturn in America, and in the world, with a bit of emotional distance. It's the comfortable position of someone who has nothing else to lose. I have no investments to worry about. My load has been lightened, by choice, as well as by circumstance. But last Christmas was not a bad one for me, and as the weather gets crispy here in Paris, I look forward eagerly to this Christmas. To the blue lights that are strung across the streets, to the amazing displays in the specialty food store windows, to the fois gras booths set up in the markets. I love to just look at it all!

I think the assumption that Christmas will be bad this year for some people in America, is based on the culture of consumption. If we don't have a beautiful tree in our living room with hundreds of wrapped gifts underneath it, the world, as we know it, will come to an end. If that's true, then maybe it should end. All of the "stuff" that we consume doesn't fill our emptiness of spirit. We buy so that we can have a quick emotional fix. We get excited about a new jacket or shoes, and then wear them once and they no longer have the energy they had when we first bought them. We buy more and more stuff and we struggle to find a place to put it all. The more stuff we have, the more we have to worry about losing it.

I feel very free without all my stuff. I feel so free of stuff, that when I'm tempted to buy something, I think twice about it. I usually walk away. I think about my tiny apartment and the lack of storage and the fact that I already have enough stuff, so unless it fulfills a critical NEED, it ain't coming home with me.

My joy right now comes from the people in my life, and the times we can spend together laughing, crying when necessary, and sharing our insights and dreams. The true gifts in my life are the friends and family I have, and the memories of our times spent together. They give me gifts of love and support on a regular basis. And I try to send them love, and listen to their hopes and fears too. These gifts are lasting, nothing else is.

Last Christmas was lovely. And there was very little money. But I found a tiny live Charly Brown Christmas tree abandoned on the street near my apartment, and there were lights here to string upon it, and I had a feast up here, looking out on the Paris skyline. We drank cheap bubbly and ate steamed lobsters at some ridiculous price like 3 Euros each! We had a big cake that cost nothing, and we warmed up vanilla cream sauce to pour on top of it. Somebody brought a bottle of Poire William, and we toasted the season.

This Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, cook a simple meal at home, invite your friends and family, and leave the TV off. Sit across from each other, look each other in the eyes, and tell them how much you appreciate the fact that they are in your life. If you must give gifts, give only one gift to each person. Make a big deal about presenting it. Stand up and sing them a song, write them a poem, or a short story, or draw them a picture. Make a collage for them, cutting out pictures and words from magazines that you think represent the best parts of them. Hand it over to them and say, this is a picture of all the wonderful things I see in you.

Then, if you have a piano, or some musical instruments, sit around and play easy songs that everybody knows. Let the kids bang the tambourines or drums. Don't try and be perfect, just try and play along. Sing easy and fun songs.

I promise you, that instead of this being the worst Christmas you ever had, it will be the best. You may never want to go back to the never-ending hampster-wheel of corporate consumption. Maybe it's finally time to get off of the shopping train that never stops, until you are in terrible debt, and yet still unfulfilled. Stop letting unconscious advertising drive you to wanting more and more and more. Slow down. Look around you at all the natural beauty, and at the faces of your loved ones.

Then, not only will the 2008 holiday season be full of lasting memories and joy, but 2009 will be the best year you ever had.