Well now. It's...fascinating, to say the least. I think I will post the entirety of the booklet in serial fashion, to give me time to translate it (and stop guffawing). I predict that you will be rolling with laughter at least once during this process. It occurs to me that the booklet is both a practical and sweet guide to sex. But the illustrations are hilarious.
For today's lesson, I will start with the front and back cover. You'll notice that one side is upright and the other is upside down. That's because you read all about Les Filles (The Girls) with the book in one direction, and then turn it upside down to read all about Les Garçons (The Boys). (Click on the image to get a larger view.)
DUDE! There isn't one boy on that page that I would ever date, but, well, just wait 'til you see more of them below. Now, let's take our first peek inside. I'll show you the starting pages for the Les Filles section of the book. So...can you find yourself anywhere in that picture? What makes me happy is that not one of those gals is a fashion model. Phew! Scroll on down to read my rough translation of the instructive text as well as the contents of their thought bubbles.
"Sexual development can begin from the age of 10 years: breasts begin to push out, hair begins to grow on the pubis and under the arms. All the changes that occur during this period are called puberty. It happens over many years. All women don't develop at the same rhythm. Some have their period at the age of ten, others begin later."
- Green bubbles on top left: I never know when my period will arrive. Why do I have changes of mood?
- Blue bubble at left: Why am I so hairy?
- Orange bubbles top left: My boyfriend says I am frigid because I don't want to have sexual relations. Is it bad to caress myself?
- Yellow bubble on left: Can one catch a sexually transmitted infection by only having sex once?
- Blue bubble to the right of yellow bubble: I have one breast smaller than the other. Why?
- Purple bubble: my period is late. What's happening?
- Orange bubbles: I believe that I'm attracted to girls. I have no desire for sexual intercourse. Am I normal?
- Green bubble: I have white discharge. Have I caught something?
- Red bubble: I have large thighs. Must I go on a diet?
- Turquoise bubble: My periods are very painful.
- Dark pink bubble: Is there a chance that my doctor will tell my parents I am having sex?
- Blue bubble: (sorry, Babblefish didn't get this one, but it doesn't matter, because we're all worried about something being too fat or too small) I have big/fat ?? but small ??
I'm sorry, but I have to say this...notice the complete lack of introductory text. There is no introduction. Just naked boys, hanging about, listlessly, thinking their thoughts. Let's see what they're thinking, shall we?
- Green bubbles top left: I must kiss. Or I will explode. True men don't shake. (huh?)
- Blue bubble bottom left: I have a too-small penis.
- Orange bubbles top: This morning i realized I wet my sheets. If my mother sees it... Can one make his penis bigger?
- Yellow bubble: What is this stuff that doesn't feel good under my foreskin?
- Blue bubble: Why this bump in my trousers?
- Purple bubble: My thing is twisted.
- Dark green bubble: I believe that I like boys.
- Light green bubble: When will I have hair?
- Dark red bubble: That stops me from talking about condoms.
- Dark pink bubble: We both want to, but she could get pregnant.
- Blue bubble: I don't want to do it. Am I normal?
Tune in next time for more about Les Filles: nutrition, exercise and hair in the wrong places.